Why can't we just be honest?

Im a good person, I believe in treating people like they have inherent value. It’s very easy for me to interact with diverse populations because I’m incredibly good at seeing people for who they are with very little input. I can spot a liar like a thorn in the bushel and I’m not the one you want to be looking eye to eye with when you are feeling unsure or being a dumb ass. My presence can kinda slice people in two and I can see it in their eyes as their entire facade just crumbles in comparison to my authenticity. I think at the foundation of it, I developed a keen sense of how to read people immediately when I was a kid, and now at nearly forty years old it’s lethal.

Don’t get it twisted. I blissfully bought a used Christmas Tree with blown out lights for the same price the original owner bought it brand new. I was so focused on getting that tree into my house I didn’t care to see the full price listed on the ding dang box staring right at me while I nervously finished up the Facebook Marketplace transaction. Listen, the tree is my mascot now. I am the tree, the tree is me. Did get totally ripped off? YES! I hope its original owner got the Christmas she deserved, but my tree is still really beautiful and I had a lot of fun riding the high all the way with the kids in the car blasting Christmas music. Mama was FOCUSED on getting Christmas started and I did what I did, no regrets. So while I’m holding space for being lied to during the holidays, at the end of the day I'm able to make a pretty solid character call on people. Once forged, I will stand by my original assessment until proven wrong because I have watched too many people act just exactly the way I knew they would. This is the exact trait that made it difficult for me to stay in church.

For too long after I left the communities and christian circles I used to be connected to- I felt like the whole thing was a me problem. It’s a sick and twisted joke to make a child believe in something with her whole heart and intertwine what was intended for good with whatever demon is currently coursing through our countries veins. It’s easy to see now that the evangelical movement might’ve been a little off but the incredible thing is, when you’re in that world, it’s incredibly easy to reinforce the idea that we were right. It felt true in my bones that we had the key to life and it was our job to help everyone along. I believed with my heart and soul, as a five year old, that I would be a world changer for Christ and I was invested in the mission of spreading Jesus.

I watched as my peers became pastors and pastor wives, and youth leaders, and worship leaders and it was oh so curious to me how people who had not passed my litmus test would advance. At first I just made myself the crazy one, but as a I slowly lost my mind watching men with the social skills of a Croc take over the reins of the church I knew and loved I was just plain aghast.

It’s insane to me that today we can’t just look each other in the eye and know with our full chest whether or not a person is a good person or a bad person. I’m not talking about their beliefs, or their opinions I’m talking about the character of being a person who does the right thing, every time. When you live this way you have a certain energy about you, and people notice. You also have all the social receipts of times you acted with respect and trust. So why are we all having such a hard time agreeing on item by line item?

If we were to put people in power who, lets say, don’t abuse people- we would have a greater chance of people not being abused. It’s really that simple. Until we can dismantle the systems that exist and allow for oppression of any person we have not arrived at our final destination. I promise you that any system that elevates the experience for rich people or people of privilege, this is not a system that Jesus would’ve loved or… a system that meets the basic human rights of every person on this planet.